SHARING and CARING…it’s what LIFE is all about!

The Shoulda, Coulda Life

Posted by on May 28, 2021 in Blog, Food for Thought, Quotes | 0 comments

Several decades ago I heard a sermon centred on the song, My Way, written in 1968 by Paul Anka and made famous by Frank Sinatra. The chorus reads:

Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way.

The theme of the sermon focussed on how we as humans can fall into the trap of ignoring what God has planned for our lives and choose to live our lives our own way. I have to admit that my first reaction to his interpretation of the song was in defence of the songwriter. I wanted to believe that Mr. Anka’s intention was to encourage an individual not to follow the crowd, not to be drawn into or be influenced by the direction the masses were going, but rather live his or her life free from society’s wrong influences. In itself, that’s not a bad thing, especially when you consider the direction the masses tend to go.

Then I looked at living life my way from a Christian perspective and realized that not only do the words hint at a self-sufficiency, but they reflect the arrogance of one in rebellion to God. Phrases such as “Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew when I bit off more than I could chew” seem to suggest an admission of mistakes made, until one listens further: “But through it all, when there was doubt, I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all and I stood tall; And did it my way.” The song continues: “For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught” again suggesting an egotistical belief that a person needs no one other than him or herself to provide contentment, happiness and success. Basically, that there is no room nor a need for God.

William Nicholson, who authored Shadowlands, (the story of C.S. Lewis and American poet Joy Gresham), states that “self-sufficiency is the enemy of salvation. If you are self-sufficient, you have no need of God. If you have no need of God, you do not seek Him. If you do not seek Him, you will not find Him.” And to quote C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity: “All that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—is the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.”

Having supported my claim that the song is not one that draws a person closer to God, I must give pause to the first line of the chorus: Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.” I’m sure you would agree with me that regrets are a natural response to the mistakes we make: the words we shoulda said, the things we coulda done and now we can’t. How many times have you or I  wished that life had a rewind button so we could take back those hurtful words or undo what pride and hurt feelings have maimed?  Sadly, we all know individuals who have expressed such regrets, who have admitted to wishing they could do things over, to offer that overdue apology, to make amends and heal broken relationships. But, instead of stepping away from the my way mindset, they have chosen to live with their regrets that have now grown into a heavy sadness and wasted years. There has been no healing, no forgiveness, just a void.

There is an old saying that misery loves company! Why is it that we take comfort in knowing we are not alone in our regrets? Well, again, I believe that’s a human response to surviving our emotional roller coaster called life. Regrets are definitely part of living in a fallen world. And yet, there is hope! For those who have not succumb to the my way of living but have sought and found God and the peace and forgiveness He offers, there is comfort in knowing that although the Christian life is not mistake-free, it is guilt-free! Such an individual can claim the promise found in Psalm 103:11-12, “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Billy Graham quoteLife is fleeting. I like to think of it as the flip of the calendar. Month by month time is moving on and as it does, the my way life just doesn’t cut it for me. I don’t want to waste any more time living the shouda, coulda, and now I can’t life. Through God’s forgiveness, mercy and grace, I choose God’s way. There’s no other way!

“Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God” (2 Corinthians 3:5).

As a final note, our dear friend Leo left us suddenly this past week and is now present with his Lord. Leo knew God’s way was the only way! You’ve left a void, Leo, never to be filled.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *