What Once Was

There are times in our lives when we have the freedom to make meaningful, positive, and character-building decisions and we reap the benefits that come with such choices. But there are also times when the decisions we make are saturated with disappointment and regrets that haunt us, so much so that we are at a loss as to how to move forward. And then there are those times when the freedom to make decisions is beyond our control, when we experience the unexpected, those unforeseen circumstances that can happen in our daily day. How we respond to those interruptions dictates the direction we take.

Perhaps a story about a tree will help make my point.

For the past eighteen years, we have enjoyed the stunning beauty of a crabapple tree tree, front and centre of the apartment where we live. Each May its vibrant shades of pink blossoms fill the view from our dining room window, and sitting on our second floor balcony, we soak up its beauty while it lasts. In due time the blossoms are replaced with tiny red apple-like berries that birds—and squirrels!—indulge in until the last is eaten and the leaves have fallen with the first frost. It truly is a sight to behold! But it is also a wonderful reminder of our Creator who “makes all things bright and beautiful,” as expressed in a poem by Cecil Frances Alexander.

But this year the tree struggled, for what once was, is now no longer!

An early spring freezing rain unleashed itself on our region, showing no mercy. Not only was our tree a helpless victim of this onslaught, but a multitude of trees throughout our town and beyond…miles beyond!… suffered severe damage! Having lost four major limbs and several smaller branches, our beautiful tree now stands in a somewhat disheveled state. But despite having lost its former beauty, it has proven itself strong and resilient and has produced a beautiful display that can still be admired…and the birds can still enjoy the berries! I can’t help thinking that if the tree had human qualities and could talk, it might express thankfulness for being alive despite the damage…it might even express happiness!

My tree analogy is simply a reminder that the unexpected—that which is out of our control—happens. It’s called life! Unexpected storms come—like the spring ice storm that broke multiple branches. Failed expectations, demands of others, or unresolved issues can break us if we allow it, and we are left with a choice…a decision to make. We can choose to wallow in self-pity, or we can face the enemies—the storms, the unexpected, the unknown—and ask, What is God seeking to do in my life through my present circumstances?

In The Road to Daybreak Henri Nouwen records the advice he received from a fellow priest: “The issue is not where you are, but how you live wherever you are.” The most relevant issue for us is not a change of circumstances—the disappearance of all the enemies that seem to attack us—but a change of attitude…facing our situation and seeking God’s guidance through it. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a pastor and theologian whose faith in God led him to act radically against the new government in Germany in 1933 was known for his faithful witness while in a Nazi prison. His love and commitment in his walk with God was evident during the two years he was in prison prior to his execution on April 9, 1945. During his imprisonment he proved himself strong and resilient and wrote poems and preached sermons to fellow prisoners and sympathetic guards who smuggled out uncensored letters that were posthumously published in Letters and Papers from Prison. The following poem was written for fellow prisoners but has a profound lesson for us today when the ice storms of life threaten us:

O God, early in the morning I cry to You.
Help me to pray and to concentrate my thoughts on You;
I cannot do this alone.

In me there is darkness, but with You there is light;
I am lonely, but You do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with You there is help;
I am restless, but with You there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with You there is patience;
I do not understand Your ways,
But You know the way for me….

Restore me to liberty and enable me to live now
That I may answer before You and before all men.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.
Amen.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer (emphasize added)

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And from God’s Word:

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
    in the morning I lay my requests before you
    and wait expectantly.

Psalm 5:3